The Laws Of Attraction

What is attraction? A quick google will tell you it is “the action of evoking interest in or liking for someone or something”, you would think there is not much more to know. But it is in my best interest (and possibly yours) to discover how and why you are attracted to the people you are drawn to. And in this particular context we are talking about sexual attraction. After reflection on my experiences I can say my attraction to someone relies heavily on the following: appearance and communication. Appearance such as the way one presents themselves and communication in the way someone approaches another verbally and physically. I also want to go deeper and talk about specific traits that I find attractive in a sexual partner. Then I can finish you off with some thought provoking questions to further explore what attraction is to you. Sound fun? Let’s get into it then!


Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. So bear that in mind when I discuss appearance and its role in sexually appealing to the person across the table/bed/phone screen from you. Physical attraction varies wildly, but there are a few commonalities I have come across in my travels as an escort. Hygiene is a huge factor. For example, when I have encountered someone who appears and smells visibly dirty, I am not going to want to hold my naked body against theirs etc… So first things first, having a clean and pleasant smelling body (including dental hygiene) is imperative in appealing to someone else in my opinion. I always make sure I am spick and span before letting anyone get their hands on me and I expect the other party to feel the same… We need to be VERY clean before we get dirty. 


Another factor in appearance that can be important is grooming and clothing. Which again boils down to are you clean and tidy? I don’t mind a long beard or even pubic hair, but it must be clean and tidy for me to want to rub up against. As for clothing, in my opinion it does not have to be the most current trend or luxury, but CLEAN and tidy and well fitting. So all in all, being clean and presentable does wonders in helping appeal to the other party and helps them want to be close to you in your personal space.


Clear and respectful communication is hot. So hot in fact, that it can melt the clothes right off my body. When I know what someone’s true expectations are of me and I know I am comfortable with providing that experience then I can completely relax and be myself. And when I am fully relaxed into the situation I can truly get in the mood and this energy will rub off on my dance partner too (no pun intended). In instances when I am unsure about others boundaries and whether they have understood mine, I find myself more tense and less receptive to intimacy. 


So in my experience, open communication between each other is essential to creating a sensual and safe space to reach intense levels of pleasure together. This communication is not only verbal but also physical. For example, when getting down and dirty in the moment, if either person was to engage in a physical action that was not discussed prior, that would be communicating to the other that you do not respect their boundaries and can then trigger feelings of fear and anxiety in them. I believe this is not conducive to a relaxed sexual experience. Aim of the game here is to openly talk about boundaries and understand it is a continual process which includes body language and actions along the way. It takes courage and a certain level of vulnerability to communicate sexual boundaries if you aren’t used to it but practice makes perfect! And it helps to have someone who won’t judge you either. All in all, communication between two consenting adults is the crown jewel of a fantastic intimate experience.


Attraction is a personal and continual process. From the first glance to the one-hundredth, there are many factors involved. As I have covered, the main factors for me are cleanliness, hygiene as well as open and honest communication. But this is just my experience. What makes you all hot and bothered? (in the best way of course), and what is it about someone that makes you continue to feel this way even after the initial perve, glance or touch? A little bit of sexy self-reflection is a great way to find your ultimate pleasure in my opinion, and I also think it is a life-long process (enjoy the ride). As I always say (if you’ve ever met me in person) it is all about the journey and the “destination” is just a delightful bonus if you ever reach it. So here’s to you and finding your bliss!

Candice xx

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